Throughout my journey, I've come to understand the concept of "coulda, shoulda, and woulda," and I'm certain you have too. Have you ever caught yourself uttering these words?
"If only I could do this, I really should be doing that, I would do it if only…blah, blah, blah!"
When you combine these thoughts with your personal, professional, and organizational aspects, the possibilities become limitless. It can be overwhelming if you allow it to consume you. What's more, it can be intensified if you label yourself as lacking creativity on one end of the spectrum, or overly creative on the other end, struggling to bring it all together. The truth is, we all have our challenges to face.
But remember, you are not alone in this. We have all spoken these words, even though we know they are futile for ourselves and those we serve. Despite our awareness, if we lack discipline, these words can still find their way into our minds.
The Solution to Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda
These words lead to decreased productivity, excuse-making, a defeatist attitude, feelings of depression and anxiety, being overwhelmed, losing valuable team members, and even losing customers. The key is to cultivate a one-degree mindset that doesn't allow these words or thoughts to enter the equation, whether it's in our personal lives, professional endeavors, or within our organizations. They should not be a part of our vocabulary. This requires discipline – a rigorous and unwavering discipline. It involves developing skills, adjusting our mindset, reframing our habits, modifying our behaviors, and continuously seeking opportunities for growth. There can be no room for inconsistency; consistency is now the name of the game.
Conscious vs. Subconscious
To me, our beliefs about ourselves and our unconscious habits directly influence our mindset and behavior. Therefore, if we work on our subconscious identity and habits, our mindset and behavior will naturally align. Of course, this requires some effort, but it is entirely possible.
To further explore this idea, let's consider the words "Could," which seeks permission and questions our abilities; "Should," which implies advice and what we ought to do; and "Would," which suggests possibilities and ambiguity.
Now, imagine leading yourself and others with a language devoid of these words. Instead, replace them with "I am, I will, and I must." These words leave no room for ambiguity.
Outcome-Based Habits
Allow me to introduce the concept of Outcome-Based Habits versus Identity-Based Habits, inspired by James Clear's book, Atomic Habits. The crux of this idea is that lasting change is directly tied to our identity. As humans, we tend to focus more on desired outcomes rather than who we want to become.
For a more solid foundation to reshape your identity personally, professionally, and organizationally, removing the words "could, would, and should" is crucial. By emphasizing your efforts with your inner voice and subconscious, you have a remarkable opportunity to transform your mindset and behavior.
Dedicate Yourself to Growth
Working from the inside out has never been clearer. How do you currently define your identity? Is that thought pleasing to you? How does your identity impact your habits, mindset, and behavior? If you're anything like me, you probably see room for growth. It's important to recognize that this journey is filled with ups and downs, peaks and valleys. However, every step along the way offers you the chance to be your best self. As you elevate yourself by one degree, don't forget to support others on their individual journeys as well. This is what we do!
